1 week growth

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I shaved my head a week ago as a detachment from my ego, a reminder to what’s important in life and as an inspiration to others to focus on the true sources of happiness.  To my surprise, I actually really liked how my baldhead looked so in a sense my ego could be attaching itself to that new cool image.  The practice of detachment for me has been and will be watching my hair grow out and not wishing it to be different.  I noticed that I didn’t like it as much once the black stub started growing in, so I noted that dissatisfaction as an observation instead of a desire for it to be different.

In my last blog I said that the material and physical don’t bring us true happiness.  Today I would like to talk about what does and how to find that for you.  A good exercise to find out would be to reflect or write down all of the things that bring you joy. Once you know what they are you can spend your energy focusing on them to fill you with more joy and then the physical and material won’t seem so important.

What brings me joy is listening and living from my heart, nurturing myself, inspiring others, spending time with nature and animals, having heart-felt connections with others, living on a tropical island, sharing smiles with strangers, feeling vibrant health and energy, learning new things, exploring new places, puppies and babies, riding on a motorbike, walking along the beach, warm bathes, beautiful food that nourishes my body, knowing who I am, developing myself, overcoming challenges, giving to others, feeling the love from my family and friends…not how my hair looks.

Find and focus on your joy!

This is dedicated to everyone’s feelings that need to be acknowledged.

I find myself teaching people every day about respecting and honoring how people feel, and for those feeling the way they do, how to stand up for their feelings.  When I hear the words “calm down”, “relax”, “don’t be upset”, “stop freaking out” or my all-time favorite “you are crazy” I WANT TO SCREAM!  If I do scream though, I most likely will be told to calm down…

OK, so if I’m upset or emotional what will help is to respect why I’m upset, have empathy and compassion to the situation and just be there to listen.  The thing that will make it worse is to tell me to not feel the way I do.  It’s time we stand up for our feelings.  The more we stuff them inside instead of releasing and respecting them, the more they will deplete our well-being.  Take your power back by understanding, managing and releasing your emotions.  Most importantly they want to be expressed and deserve respect.

I’m going to start off with an example that happened to me today.  I landed in Orange County airport and needed a taxi ride to a house in Laguna Beach.  I told my driver the address and asked him if he knew where that was.  He started driving and said he knew Laguna Beach but not that street.  I was starting to get concerned but was relieved that he had a GPS.  We were headed down a highway as he played around with the GPS. I had to ask him if he found it and he then told me that his GPS was broken and that he would have to call dispatch.  The meter had reached $20 and we were on a highway headed to nowhere.  I was starting to get upset as I told him that I would Google Map it on my iPhone.  Turns out that we were headed in the opposite direction to what the directions said and he knew I was getting upset so he shut off the meter and said he would turn it on when we get to the right road.  His intentions were not communicated clearly to me so I became more upset, confused and worried. I’m not sure where my driver was from but English was his second language as he explained after I told him that telling me to “calm down” was rude.  He then went on to ask me if he should have said, “relax”, I started to feel a scream rising.  It doesn’t matter if you understand the language or not.  What needs to be understood is that if someone is upset, there is a reason and to acknowledge that instead of telling him or her they shouldn’t be upset or feel the way they do.  After I told him “relax” wasn’t a good response either, I suggested that next time he just apologize for the inconvenience and relieve my worry by explaining how he was resolving the situation.  I think he understood but then was overcompensating the rest of the 30-minute ride with being concerned that I was upset and that I should be enjoying my weekend. 

This book is about expressing feelings.  These are the real life stories of those screaming to be heard and respected.  Thank you for listening and understanding.

If you have a story that you would like to share and contribute to the book, please email me elicia@epowerme.com